10 – Love and Unity

By ANNIE PERDUE-OLSEN

 

“There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.” (1 Corinthians 12:4-6)

I wasn’t crazy about fishing.

I usually love to learn things in depth, but I didn’t really care much about fish, lures, or techniques.

But then – I met my husband. And fishing became the best dating experience ever.

I fell head over heels for fishing, because to me it became about being together, sharing the experience, and making meaningful conversation. We found love on a boat, fishing the beautiful lakes of Minnesota. I view love as an experience that gives us focus in our relationship and hope for our future. To me, love means that we are not alone; and together we can overcome anything.

On the flip side, my husband’s passion for fishing and expression of love is not the same. To him, fishing is about mastering the technique, finding, hooking, fighting with the fish, catching it, and throwing it back to do it all over again. Love of nature, experiencing freedom, and breaking out of the routine of life are what he enjoys about being on the water. For him, love is how we help each other master life, meet challenges, and guide each other toward a better, richer life.

We both love fishing. But our motivations and expressions of love are different.

When we were first married we only knew that we shared fishing as a common interest. We believed the myth that people attracted to each other always agree and believe the same things. But as we journeyed deeper in relationship we learned that our differences were actually the beauty of the marriage God gave us. Differences do not have to be the place of conflict, but a place of dialogue and understanding that create perspective and enrich our lives. In 1 Corinthians 12:4-6, the apostle Paul says, “There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.”

Our differences are unique reflections of the facets of God’s love. Understanding our differences pushes us to practice new ways of expressing love. God’s love is complete and in our marriage relationship we can experience a more complete picture of His love.

My husband and I define love differently, but we have learned to see God’s love expressed in our differences.

 

TALK ABOUT IT

How do you naturally express love (which is a clue on how you prefer to receive love)?

How do you see God’s love expressed in your marriage?

What is one way you could show love to your spouse in the way they like to receive it?

 

 

Annie is a certified MBTI trainer and leadership coach and her husband, Bernard, is an aerosol scientist. They champion their differences and celebrate every moment spent fishing on the lake. They are blessed with three amazing kids and make every effort to spoil their two grandkids.