18 – Embracing The Process

By PAUL HURKMAN

 

“And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” (2 Corinthians 3:18)

It was one of the biggest decisions we would make in our 13 years of marriage. While we were making this decision, I don’t recall God telling me what the right decision was. It was the process of making the decision that taught us so much about each other, about our family, and about God’s Kingdom.

Working in a justice-focused non-profit organization can sometimes feel like you are paid to be a Christian. It is my job to advocate for the poor and the oppressed around the world, as a response to the Gospel. So we regularly ask the question, “Who are the Hurckmans, when we are not being paid to be Christians?” One of the answers to that question is that we want to be a family that cares about our community.

So when my wife, Candace, asked what I thought about foster care, I said, “let’s pray about it.” The funny thing is that I never felt a ‘green light’ to pursue it, or a ‘red light’ to avoid it. So we decided to take a step, and we signed up to take the requisite classes. Each class created the opportunity to talk about what we knew about ourselves, our beliefs, our community, and even the identity of our family. It also invited us to begin to develop our philosophy of fostering, and our role in it. It is safe to say, as we entered these conversations with honesty and vulnerability, we learned, we grew, and we developed a more clarion picture of who we wanted to be as a family.

Fast-forward 2 years, and now we have fostered and adopted one baby girl, and we are in the process of foster-to-adopting our second. This process changed us more than any other decision we’ve made. It has changed where we go to church, how we spend our money, and how much we rely on our community of friends. Our new daughters have made our entire family better. They bring out the best in us. They have changed how we communicate, how we function as a team, how we understand and interpret the world around us.

I still have never heard a clear answer from God about if we should start, or continue fostering. But I believe that through this process, God has beautifully and uniquely revealed His Kingdom in new and fresh ways. This process has helped us step more fully and intentionally into the process of becoming more like Christ.

The Bible says, “But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.” (2 Corinthians 3:18, NASB) We may not always know the right answer, but every decision we face is an opportunity to continue to ask, “Who do we want to be as a couple/family?” In seeking the answer to this question, we intentionally enter into a process of being transformed more beautifully into His image. Don’t worry about always getting everything right the first time, jump into the process and let it help clarify who you are, and how His Kingdom is being revealed all around you.

 

TALK ABOUT IT

How well do you work together as a team when making decisions as a couple? How can you more intentionally bring God into the process of decision making? Look for some anchor Bible verses that can encourage you both to be patient during times of process and waiting.

 

 

Paul and his wife, Candace, work with Venture, an organization committed to using its ‘greatest energy on the world’s greatest needs’. They live in Minneapolis with their 4 kids.