23 – Friends Matter

By KARI BROOKINS

 

“They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.” (Acts 2:42)

A week after my husband and I were married, we moved to Madison, Wisconsin for my husband to pursue a nursing degree. This was an exciting time because I was fresh out of college and excited for our new adventure in a new town. I had a perfect mental image of how things would go: we would be happy, blissful newlyweds all the time, I would get a teaching job right away, and we would find an amazing church and make new lifelong friends.

Then reality hit. We fought about silly things. I didn’t find a full-time job and instead ended up working three part-time jobs to make ends meet. We couldn’t agree on a church we both liked and making quality friends proved to be very hard. Honestly, there were times I was so lonely I considered leaving Jeremy and heading back to my old life in Minnesota.

God was faithful through this time though, and He had bigger plans for us that we could imagine. At the beginning of our second year in Madison, I got my dream full-time job of teaching 3^rd grade. When I showed up for orientation, I was introduced to another new teacher as, “This is your new best friend, Erin.” I have to be honest here, she looked way too goody-two-shoes for me and I actually avoided being more than coworkers with her for a while …shallow, I know. I also assumed Jeremy would graduate from nursing school and we would move within a year anyway.

Well, Jeremy finished nursing school, and then the economy tanked, leaving us with some hard decisions to make. Should we stay in a place we didn’t want to be, but where we both had jobs in our desired fields? Or should we pursue adventure somewhere else in the country where jobs were hard to come by? We decided to stick it out in Wisconsin since we both had employment and could start building our careers.

One night, after listening to me complain again about this decision and our lack of “real” friends, my wise husband had a genius idea. He decided that we should start praying for godly friends. Not just friends to have fun with, but friends that were truly compatible with us, that would be honest; those iron-sharpens-iron kind of people that would make us better and stronger in our faith.

We didn’t see it right away, but slowly God started to answer in an unexpected way. I started running with Erin after school. We signed up for the same soccer team along with our husbands. Jeremy and I switched churches to help with their youth group. We worked together, we served together, we did life together, and then…. we lived together. Jeremy and I were blessed with the opportunity to build a house, and while our house was being built we spent an epic summer living in Erin and Brandon’s basement. During this time our friendship grew to be more like family, and we realized these were the friends we had prayed for. They would pray for us, be honest with us, and hold us accountable to a higher standard. God had heard our prayers for authentic, real community.

The Bible talks about this type of relationship between Christians in the early church. “They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people…” (Acts 2:42) God designed us to live in community with each other because this is how we stay healthy and grow.

Life looks different now. We all have about a million toddlers (at least that’s how it feels at times) and Jeremy and I have moved back to Minnesota. We look back at this time fondly though, and see how God continues to bless us with many more amazing friendships because of learning how to build community. We learned we needed to be very intentional. By getting involved in different ministries, volunteering, opening our home, and cultivating the relationships God brings into our life, we have found a solid community that enriches our lives, our marriage and our walk with God.

 

TALK ABOUT IT

Have you prayed and asked God for the friends you wish you had?

What could you do differently to be intentional about developing a community of life-giving friends around your marriage?

In what ways can you be a friend to people in the way you wish people would be a friend to you?

 

 

Kari and her husband Jeremy live in the Twin Cities, and have two energetic little boys. They enjoy watching football, serving in kids ministry at their church, and finding adventure anywhere they can.