24 – Two Are Better Than One

By ANNA GUNTLISBERGEN

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:12)

One week before my wedding I sat on the floor in my parent’s house, in the room I’d had as a child, sobbing. Just recently back in the U.S. after one of many long term stays in Africa, I found myself wondering if marriage meant giving up my identity and hunger for adventure to instead settle down into… something less exciting.

I knew the love I felt for my fiancé was a real, lifelong love. He was strong in his faith, and had pursued me tirelessly for years. But that didn’t stifle the fear that rose up every time I allowed myself a minute to sit and think and fret that maybe getting married meant saying goodbye to everything else I loved – travel, working overseas, being independent. Put simply – I was afraid to sacrifice the freedom I’d always felt I had to follow God’s plan – which consistently had landed me halfway around the world.

I’ve been married now for five years, and oftentimes get a good laugh at my younger, single self. What I didn’t understand then that I do now is that I was placing my greatest fear – a complacent life – in the hands of another human, instead of claiming it and placing it at the feet of an all-powerful, always adventurous Savior. If I was expecting my marriage to David to supplement my craving for the call of Christ in my life, then yes, my fear of complacency was founded. What I’ve realized in marriage, though, is that craving the call of Christ while stepping out in faith with another human heart that God is also leading makes for an even grander journey.

My husband and I have accomplished far more together for the kingdom of God than I ever could have done alone. I’ve watched this verse come to fruition in my own lifetime again and again: “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:12)

The places where my faith flounders, David’s flourishes. At my weakest points, he holds strong. When I crave movement and newness and fight the feelings of a mundane life, his stability anchors our family in Christ. When one of us fears change, the other finds their courage to jump. When one of us doubts, the other finds a hope renewed. It is the beautiful ebb and flow of two hearts learning and searching together that has made us succeed in our marriage, and in following our dreams and passions.

We have three toddler boys, and each day is full of chaos and messes and noise. We go to bed at night to wake up a bit different in the morning, changing as the experience of each day sinks into our skin as we sleep. I am a new adventure for David to learn, moment to moment, and as he changes with the passing of time, he is a new adventure for me. In the few quiet moments that we have together I look at him and feel that same love I felt years ago – because the core of who he is, a man chasing after the heart of God, is still the same.

My younger self didn’t define marriage as an adventure of grace upon grace – but that is surely how I would describe it today. Two hearts pursuing one great God – it is the grandest quest I could have imagined.

TALK ABOUT IT

How can you see each other as an adventure to learn?

What are some ways that you and your spouse have balanced each other’s strong and weak moments?

What are some of the faith adventures you feel God calling you to pursue together?

David and Anna have watched God’s relentless love and redemption shape their marriage and family from day one. They have three sons adopted from Africa, and are in the process of adopting a daughter from India. Their life prayer is to never become complacent and lose sight of what breaks God’s heart.