You Are Not The Perfect Spouse

He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

–Philippians 1:6

If the burden of being the perfect spouse rested squarely on our shoulders, our greatest fears about marriage would be completely justified. I just can’t be the perfect spouse; neither can you. Praise God that the burden never rested on our shoulders!

Before you were ever married, you were part of the church, the bride of Christ. Before the foundation of the world, our eternal Groom chose us in spite of the fact that we didn’t deserve him (Eph. 1:3–4). In the midst of our wretchedness, he died for us (Rom. 5:8). He has clothed us in his righteousness. He adopted us as his own. He saved us. He chose our marriage to echo that eternal covenant love of his Son. He chose us, not because of our perfec- tion, but because of his ability to stand perfectly in our stead. Your lives are his. Your marriage is his.

And in light of these glorious truths, even as our selfishness, self-centeredness, and self-righteousness cry out against the death knells of the old man (Gal. 2:20), we know that final victory belongs to our heavenly Groom (Phil. 1:6). Our weakness points us to his strength (2 Cor. 12:9).

Your marriage isn’t ultimate, but it paints, simple as it may be, a picture of the one who is (Rev. 19:7–9), and your greatest fears in marriage can be swallowed by the fact that you are loved not only by your spouse, but even more so by the great Groom who never truly disappoints.

TALK ABOUT IT

Discuss together your desires, however big or small, to be the perfect spouse to each other, and where you have fallen short.

Why is it not only discouraging in one sense, but also good news in another, to discover that you in fact cannot be the perfect spouse?