A Husband’s Role

By ANGELIQUE VACCARO

Love his wife

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:25) This is a command, not an option! A husband must love his wife, serve her, and lay down his life for her. (1 John 3:16) A husband’s love for his wife must reflect Jesus’ love for the church. To love as Christ loved and to lay down one’s life means that a husband must focus on his wife’s needs, not his own. (Philippians 2:3–9) He must care for his wife and love her as his own person: “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” (Ephesians 5:28) Loving his wife means to sacrifice for her, offering her support, showing her respect, and honoring her. It’s about being present and partnering with her. Loving his wife means being sensitive, affectionate, attentive, and compassionate. “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.” (Colossians 3:19) It’s about being patient and kind (1 Corinthians 13:4); it’s loving her unconditionally and faithfully.

A husband must cherish his wife and show his love for her every day through his words and his actions.; he must value her and her feelings. He must also believe in her, appreciate her, trust her, and speak destiny over her life. A husband should be a giver, not a taker! If a husband understands how to love his wife well, and decides to love her willingly, he will abound in every other role and responsibilities he has to fulfill.

Be a leader

God appointed a man to be a leader (Genesis 1:26). Once he becomes a husband, he carries the responsibility of being the head of his wife and his family. “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.” (Ephesians 5:23) Headship in marriage is a high and holy calling. It means that a husband has the very important role to lead his family towards the vision God has for his marriage and family. This authority the Bible talks about is not about domination but rather a humble position that reflects Christ’s heart and love for His church. Like the shepherd leading his sheep, the husband’s responsibility as a leader is to make sure he takes good care of his wife and family, that he provides them with security and stability, and is attentive to their needs. A good leader lays down his life and sacrifices for the ones he loves. A good leader seeks God for guidance and values his wife’s opinion. He is a confident, devoted husband and father.

A good marriage is necessary to raise godly children. Loving discipline for the children is also part of the husband’s role. (Proverbs 13:24) A husband works side by side with his wife to raise the children, teaching them to hear God’s voice and develop godly character traits as they grow older, and providing them the love and stability they need. (Proverbs 22:6) A husband does this by exhorting, encouraging, and urging his children to follow Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 2:11) A father is a powerful picture of God the Father to his children. He helps his children come to know and love God, and to listen to His voice; he teaches them to have a personal relationship with Him. “From childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.” (2 Timothy 3:15) He nourishes them in the instruction of Jesus and His Word so that they become mature in their faith. “All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness.” (2 Timothy 3:16) He speaks purpose and blessings over them; he lifts them up and supports them in their calling.

Be a spiritual leader

Along with the protection and direction that a husband offers to his wife and family, he is also called to provide spiritual leadership. Being a spiritual leader means to be responsible to God’s authority just like Christ is. “But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. (1 Corinthians 11:3) Submitting to God’s authority means following His plan and fulfilling His purpose and destiny for our lives. Being a spiritual leader involves hearing God’s voice, applying the Bible’s principles to our life, honoring God’s commands, and being a humble servant to the Lord. A spiritual leader puts God first and honors His teachings; he sets an example by demonstrating love, forgiveness, service, self-control, and the other fruits of the spirit every Christian is to model. He builds a happy family who worships God, hears His Voice, and honors His Word. His home is built on a foundation of prayer and filled with the Holy Spirit’s presence. He is a blessed man who gains his wife’s respect and his children’s admiration.

Be a servant leader

It is a man’s responsibility to show what servant leadership is about by modeling a godly behavior inside and outside his home starting with his conduct towards his wife. He will be judged by how he treats his wife, talks to her, and values her and her opinions. He is an understanding and loving husband who partners with her in life and everyday tasks and chores. “However, a servant-leader husband can help with the dishes. He should help with the laundry. He takes out the trash and vacuums the floor. A servant-leader husband proactively manages his home by helping. He never criticizes his wife’s weaknesses and lovingly encourages her at all times. He constantly affirms her and emphasizes her significance and importance. A servant-leader husband values his wife’s perspective and sensitivity.” – Steven P. Wickstrom –

Jesus teaches us to serve one another “Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.” (John 13:14-15) He also says: “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:28) This example of the unconditional love Jesus has for us is how a husband should act towards his wife! When a husband serves his wife, cares for her, he makes her feel as if she is the most important person in the world. He will realize that his wife will return the favor willingly. A man who understands the significance of being a servant leader is fortunate; his wife will bring him good all the days of her life! (Proverbs 31:12)

Be a provider

Providing, especially financially, is the most mentioned duty of a husband (though women participate with this responsibility if they work too.) This provision involves assuming responsibility for meeting the material needs of the family members. Making sure they have a roof over their head, food on the table, and clothes to wear is a primary need the head of a family must meet. (1 Timothy 5:8)

A husband must also meet his wife’s sexual and emotional needs. “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.” (1 Corinthians 7:3) Husbands are required to meet the needs of their wives as women are to their husbands. “The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.” (1 Corinthians 7:4) A husband can meet his wife’s emotional needs by seeking to understand and speak her love language. By having sexual and emotional intimacy with each other, a couple will have a strong bond and a better marriage.