Love & Marriage

By ANGELIQUE VACCARO

 

Marriage today is often viewed as old-fashion or useless; it has lost its true meaning and purpose. The question is why?

Young men and women are keeping their distance from marriage; they are afraid of it. They are afraid to love and to be loved. They tend to stay away as far as possible from commitment. They make their own rules, and they drift away from the true value of love and marriage. Why? They are afraid to suffer like they saw their parents suffer, because they came from broken homes. Maybe they didn’t see a marriage, or they saw a failed one. They were disappointed in what they observed and don’t want to go through the same ordeal. They feel discouraged and hopeless. For this reason, they think they are protecting themselves by not getting married, so they are not stuck in a relationship. They can leave whenever they feel like it, and they do not belong to anyone or anywhere… It gives them a sense of control, a kind of false freedom. The door to the world is wide open, and they believe they are keeping their heart from pain but in fact, they are giving it away by having “no strings attached” relationships. They come back from these kinds of relationships more broken than before. As a result, they do not believe in real love and don’t care about marriage.  

We were not designed for that; we were made for marriage since the very beginning. We were made from love, for love, to love and to be loved. Sadly, people don’t know how to love anymore.

1 John 2:15-17 says: “Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.”

The society offers a very distorted image of marriage and love in general. Young people are easily manipulated due to different influences like social media, music and movies that portray marriage and love relationships as confusing, disappointing, complicated, and most of the time heartbreaking. And it’s often viewed as impossible or even too good to be true! The issue is that the world shows that love is based on feelings. But feelings change and that’s why people are so disappointed with marriage. They think that it is all about feelings and not commitment. There is this misconception about marriage, and so it is being diminished and desacralized. Marriage is becoming an inconvenience, and it seems unreachable.

Today, young adults build their notions of love on books and movies or TV shows. There are images portraying rape and violence on women and children; cheating and sleeping around is presented as okay and normal as part of a “natural sexual experience” they must go through to feel good about themselves… This is what our children are looking up to! They are being brainwashed, and they think that this is love. It is so sad to see what the world has become. Sadly, evil is everywhere. The Bible says in John 10:10 that “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.” And the enemy starts by destroying what is the most pure: Love. He despises it and thus, he will try anything to pervert it and destroy it, and he is good at it! He started his malicious work when he broke the first marriage God ever created with Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. (Genesis)

Yes, love is being perverted. It is associated with selfishness, lust, abuse and pain. Marriage is also pictured as a prison where control, jealousy and unfaithfulness dominate. Intimacy is non-existent; pornography is being normalized, and people are being desensitized. Sexuality becomes a performance, a game, a selfish act without any meaning or connection with the other person. Purity is a laughing matter and mocked at. God does not have a place in the midst of this chaos. Young people are confused and lost in the middle of all the choices and decisions they have to make because of the bad examples they have in front of them. It is so easy to decide to follow the world and falling in the trap of sin is so dangerous! People cannot dissociate right from wrong because everything and anything is allowed.

We believe that there is actually a thirst for knowledge on marriage. Young adults want to know what marriage is about, how to do it and how to keep it. Unfortunately, they don’t know where to go or who to ask. This is where our job as followers of Jesus comes in to play. We need to fix our eyes on Him and pray that He will help us overcome the negative view of marriage and true love that people have and tell them what it really is all about.

We must help young adults understand that good marriages do exist and can thrive and be successful. Marriage is a beautiful thing created by God since the beginning of time. There is hope! So let’s demolish the misconceptions and demonstrate that marriage is good; marriage is real; marriage is possible; and true love can happen. We need to give our children and their friends the gift of modeling a marriage that makes them want to get married one day and give them the information they need to have a happy and successful marriage.

For you who are curious, wish to understand how marriage works, this blog is for you. Or you who desire to get married and need answers to your questions or need tools to make your marriage better, this blog is for you too! For you who have a passion for marriage, who long to share your knowledge and understanding with others, who want to make a difference, this blog is for you! Let’s learn together how to become marriage champions. How to make marriage champions, because marriage is a beautiful forever adventure!