Prayer

By ANGELIQUE VACCARO

 

Praying for our future spouse

Waiting on God’s timing requires a lot of strength and patience when we really desire something. During this time, God can prepare our future spouse’s heart when we pray for them. Praying for our future spouse is as important to Him as it is to us. We could ask God to teach them the abilities to make a great spouse, to show them the direction to follow, to help them embrace their calling and purpose as our future spouse. We can ask God to save their heart and body for us, to protect them from temptation, and to give them strength and wisdom to always seek the truth… God needs to hear our heart because He cares for us! 

I wanted a man who was first of all Christian (it was the most important thing on my list). A man who understood the value of marriage and the importance of commitment. I wanted a man who desired having children, who was generous and funny. I told God what I expected, what I desired, and what I did not want… I got this amazing man with all these great qualities and so much more! God blessed me immensely with the husband he chose for me! I am glad I prayed for him all these years, because he really is the perfect husband for me. God listens, and He does answer our prayers!

 

“I was tired of dating men who did not want to commit. I was approaching my 30s and I wanted to get married so badly. I started to get very frustrated and sad. I thought there was something wrong with me because I always attracted men who were not interested in marriage. I lost hope and I was angry at God. My older sister found the husband of her dreams at the age of 16. I know she prayed a lot. I did too but unfortunately, it did not seem to work for me. I did not want to pray anymore, and I shared with her my despair. I felt like something was missing in my life, I was very depressed and tired of looking for happiness I did not find anywhere.

She told me that at her church, they had a “prayer wall” where people could write a prayer request and pin it to the wall. Then, someone could take the prayer and bring it home to pray about it. My sister asked me if she could write a request for me. (Of course, the prayer was about me wanting to find a husband soon!) The same day my sister pinned the prayer to the wall, someone took it home. Her name was Sally. She told my sister she was praying for me and she often asked for news about me. A few weeks later, I met with my husband! I was so excited! I knew right away that he was the one, I cannot explain it. We got married about a year later. I am thrilled to finally be happy with the love of my life! I waited for him for a long time! 

All that to say that prayer works. Even if we want to give up sometimes, we must be patient, keep hoping, and persevering in faith. “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” (Romans 12:12) And if we feel like we can’t do it on our own anymore, asking someone else to pray for us is such a blessing. I am grateful for this stranger Sally, who prayed for me. I am thankful for my sister’s wisdom and support. I am forever grateful to God for listening to my prayer and answering me so fast!”  – Amandine –

 

Praying for ourselves 

God clearly calls some people to singleness (1 Corinthians 7), but if we know in our heart that marriage is what He has called us to, we must pray for ourselves. We need God’s help to change us and help us become the person He wants us to be, so we’ll be ready for marriage. 

We must ask God to cleanse us from our sins (Psalm 51:2), to make us a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17); to get us ready to welcome our spouse by guarding our heart, our body, and our mind. To teach us about purity and self-respect, and to keep us from temptation and misconduct. ”Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.” (Colossians 3:5)

We must ask God to give us patience and wisdom, and to teach us the abilities we will need to be a good partner and to meet our spouse’s needs. God will equip us for what is to come. He will help us develop the skills and gifts we already have, and He will teach us new ones. We also can ask God to grant us the ability to speak kindly to our spouse when conflicts will arise; and show us how to calmly and effectively resolve them. “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32) To teach us about forgiveness and grace, humility and compassion. To give us the strength to fight for our marriage while going through hard times and to appreciate His goodness in better times… 

Praying for ourselves is essential, because we need God’s help to become the best person we can be for our spouse. All we have to do is ask!

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” (Matthew 7:7)

 

Praying with our spouse

Once married, praying together as a couple is a habit every couple should adopt. Putting God in the center of our marriage is essential. A spiritually healthy marriage is a strong marriage; built on a foundation of prayer. Prayer is what protects us from the storms of life that may come crashing against us. If our marriage is built on a solid foundation, as long as we are fighting together, we can overcome anything. “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” (Matthew 7:24-27)

Satan does not want us to pray; he does not want us to be close to God; and he certainly does not want us to thrive spiritually as a couple. Prayer unites us, it makes us stronger in faith; it builds a spiritual intimacy that allows us to encounter God together as one. “The act of praying together brings us into God’s presence in a fuller dimension than when we pray alone.” – Connie Lee – 

Satan hates prayers, he will whisper lies to us, to distract us, to isolate us, and to steal our intimacy… Joining together as one in prayer will overcome the devil. I truly believe something happens when we pray, especially as a couple. It’s like our marriage is covered by this “holy blanket”, this Shekinah God sends from heaven. “Now when Solomon had finished praying, fire came down from heaven and consumed the burnt offering and the sacrifices, and the glory of the Lord filled the house.” (2 Chronicles 7:1) We come in line with God’s will for our lives when we are covered in prayer, and it keeps the darkness away. Praying together with our spouse will make our marriage stronger. It will draw us closer to God and to each other. 

When we pray together, the Glory of the Lord fills the house and the Holy Spirit can freely work in our hearts, our relationships, and our problems. When we pray together, God equips us with His armor so we are ready to face anything that comes against us! “Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.” (Ephesians 6:13-18)

 

Praying for our spouse

Praying for one another is a powerful way to show that we love each other and care for one another. A husband has the spiritual authority to pray for his wife and a wife also holds power in her prayers for her husband. We can ask God to give our spouse guidance and direction when they feel discouraged; we can pray for healing when they are sick. We can speak a word of wisdom when they feel lost and proclaim blessings over their life… Praying for one another is acknowledging we depend on God and that He is the one in control. It is surrendering to Him and letting Him fill us with His presence. “When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.” (Psalm 34:17) Praying for one another is a testimony of the love and grace God has for us. It promotes unity. It allows the Holy Spirit to work on behalf of our marriage. It gives us strength. It heals our hearts and fills us with joy. “The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.” (Psalm 28:7) 

When our spouse is going through a difficult season or is struggling with sin or other issues, it is our duty to stand with them and pray for them. God can use us and speak through us to help and support our spouse. We should never let our spouse carry a burden alone. “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2) Our prayer then becomes an intercession, a supplication on behalf of our spouse. God listens to us. (1 Kings 9:3) He hears our cry. And He never forsakes us. Sometimes, it takes time to see a change of circumstances, but they should never cause us to lose hope. On the contrary, we must redouble our efforts by praying more.

I really like the movie War Room by Alex Kendrick. It portrays the amazing faith and unconditional love we should have. The husband in the movie is living in sin. He is stealing and lying and has an emotional affair that is about to become a physical one. His wife finds out and prays for him with her friend. They both lock themselves in their closet, “their war room” (Matthew 6:6), they pray and intercede on the husband’s behalf until God reveals Himself and sets him free. The husband eventually walks away from sin, confesses to his wife, and repents to God. The movie describes very well the war against the darkness (Ephesians 6:12), the amazing power of prayer (James 5:16), and God’s victory! I highly recommend this movie to anyone who is struggling in their marriage and to those who don’t know how to pray. This movie changed how I viewed prayer and it actually got me excited to pray in a different way!

 

Prayer is conversing with God about our life, our disappointments, our desires, and our dreams… Prayer is a way to communicate with God in perfect intimacy and unity with our spouse. It is a powerful weapon we have against the enemy who tries to divide us. We must pray at all times, with and for our spouse. Prayer must be the number one foundation, the rock on which our marriage is built. Prayer must be used not only for requests but also for thanksgiving and for the celebration of the goodness of God. “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18) 

Prayer is the foundation of our Christian faith and a vital part of our married life.