Praying For My Future Spouse – A Personal Testimony

By ANGELIQUE VACCARO

Since I was little girl, my dad always told me to pray for my future husband. He planted a seed in my heart that grew more and more every year. He taught me the importance of asking God for a good husband and talking to Him about what I wanted in a man… I prayed every night a simple prayer until I grew up. Then I became more aware of what I was doing, and I asked God for more specific qualities I needed in a husband. It was very important to me because I was so desperate for love that I started dating at a very young age. My heart had been broken too many times.

I kissed my first boyfriend when I was 11 years old. After that, I dated one boy after the other. I really thought the boys would love me forever and would eventually marry me. How naive I was! There was always a better girl than me and all my boyfriends rejected me and broke my heart. I did not understand; I thought something was wrong with me. Why could they not love me the way I loved them? I was desperately looking for love where I would never find it. But in the moment, I did not know that. It made me feel special and loved even though it was not real love. It was like a drug. I had to date a boy to be happy, but my heart broke every time. 

Dating was forbidden in our house. I remember arguing a lot about it with my father. I just did not understand why it was so bad. My parents did not explain things to me very well. I guess they did not know how, or they were not prepared because I was so young and already so mature. I was raised with this mentality where boys are predators; they only want sex; and sex is forbidden. So dating was forbidden because dating means having sex! I was so confused. My parents did not want to try to understand me, and the conversations always ended up in frustration and me crying. But I did not care, because I needed love and dating for me did not mean what it meant to my parents. So, I dated anyway! And I was crushed every time a boy didn’t want me anymore.

I was so depressed and broken, I decided to turn to God. I thought I was not praying enough, or I was praying the wrong way. I was so mad at God, because I was rejected all the time. The boys told me they loved me but then they did not anymore, I did not understand. So, I went back to praying for my future husband and I asked God to send him to me soon!

My story begins here: There was this boy, Clement. We grew up together in the same church and our parents were really good friends with each other. As kids, we would play together every Sunday. I remember him being so annoying following me everywhere and saying my name wrong. I hid from him several times! Then our parents decided to leave the church and we all went separate ways though we stayed good friends. We then saw each other about once or twice a year.

I was now 14 years old. One night, I was praying in my room for my future husband. But this time it was different, I really felt like my prayer was coming from deep inside of me; like my heart opened and I got filled with the Holy Spirit. Then, God gave me a vision. I saw in my mind, Clement’s face and I heard his name so clearly that I was convinced he was the one God had for me! I know it sounds very strange, but this is exactly what happened.

I was so excited! I told my family, but they did not believe me. My sisters even laughed at me. But I knew in my heart that he was the one and my family will realize I was right! I wrote about Clement in my diary all the time, I already liked him a lot! Every time we would run into each other at Christian events and meetings, I wrote the conversations we had. I wrote my dreams about him… everything! He was on my mind all the time.

One day, we received a prayer request for him. He had serious heart problems and needed heart surgery. Everyone was very concerned. I felt so sad and I thought I was going to lose my friend. As a teenager, church was not my favorite place to go so I was not going that much anymore. But that week, I went because I wanted to pray for Clement. I fell on my knees and asked God to exchange our hearts. I would take his sick heart and he would have my healthy heart. I was so serious about it, I really asked God to give me Clement’s heart so he would live! This prayer was so powerful, and it was so important to me. (I did not know what it really meant until years later when we exchanged our hearts at the altar!) His surgery went very well, and Clement was going to be okay, I was so relieved!

Then, one day, my parents invited Clement’s family for dinner, and we got to talk and hang out with each other. It was nice, and then he asked me out! I said no! I was so scared of my dad. I did not have a cellphone, so there was no way to communicate with each other. I found that maintaining a relationship was impossible; so, saying no was the most logical answer at the time. I regretted it so much, but I knew he would come my way again because God promised me! It simply was not the right time.

In the meantime, I continued dating boys, even older boys like my brother’s friends. They were never serious about our relationship. Some of them took advantage of me and made me do things I did not want to do. I wanted the commitment, I wanted to date to be engaged and get married. I talked marriage with some of them; it scared them away! I was too mature for them; they only wanted to have fun. Even the Christian ones! While dating boys after the vision, I always heard a voice saying: “What about Clement?” I would hear it every time. It was still there in my heart, and I knew oh too well that I needed to stop dating, but Clement was not there then! 

I was 15 when I dated my last boyfriend. He was a Christian, the only Christian I dated. So, it was natural to think that it was a serious relationship because he was Christian. My parents knew his mom and he was my brother’s friend, we also grew up together… So maybe I had made a mistake and I may have made up the vision about Clement, because I was desperate. His sister was my best friend and we already called each other sisters-in-law. I had dated him before, but it did not work out. So, I thought that this time was like a second chance and that maybe he was the one. We were exchanging love letters, we sent each other poetry and made promises… We talked a little bit about marriage and family… Then he had to go to Spain for a month to attend a Christian conference for teenagers. We had no way to communicate with each other so waiting for a month felt like an eternity. When he came back, he never reached out to me again. He did not want to see me or talk to me. I did not understand. I had to text him to get him to tell me it was over. He did not feel the same way about me. He said he was not ready for a serious relationship, that he wanted to have fun and experiences… I think he met another girl in Spain and did not want to tell me. I was devastated, completely lost and heartbroken again. I really was serious about this relationship and I really thought it was going somewhere. Something was clearly wrong with me, why boys did not want me? (Well, I did not want to have sex with them, so I suppose that was one reason.) Was I too much? Not enough? I was so broken, I prayed again. I asked God to be clear and to show me what He had for me. I asked him to send Clement my way because I did not want to wait anymore. I was tired of repeatedly having my heart broken. I could not handle another rejection. 

One week later, I went to church, and guess who showed up? It was Clement! He had just come back from a vacation to the United States with his family. He told me that when he was there, he prayed about meeting his future wife. And here we were, in front of each other! My heart jumped with joy. I had a phone now and we exchanged our numbers. I was so excited; I could communicate with him at last! He had to leave early and he did not say goodbye. (He later told me it was on purpose!) So, I was upset about it and texted him right away saying I was happy to see him; and sad he did not say goodbye… He did not respond until later at night. Then, we texted all night. I was so impressed by our conversation because he seemed so mature about everything. We had the same dreams, the same life expectations and desires. He was looking for a serious relationship and wanted to get married too… We started dating that night, and he said I love you! That was shocking to me. No boys never told me I love you on the first date before! It was incredible. After that he was mine!

Of course, we had to hide from my dad in the beginning, but you can’t fool a dad, he already knew everything! In the first few months, it was difficult, but my dad saw that Clement was serious. He already knew him and his family, and he was a Christian so that helped a lot! After a talk with him, “the talk”, my parents had to trust us and let us be us!

We got engaged, I was 17 and Clement was 18. Two years later we were married. Being married to Clement is the best gift I have ever received. Going on our 12th year of our marriage, I can say that God listens and that He does answer prayers. He has a plan for us. We just have to trust Him and be patient, because His timing is the perfect timing! I feel so blessed and so favored. God is good!