Trusting God In The Middle Of The Storm

There were numerous times and situations in our life together where we had to hope and trust God completely. This time was no different, but the level of faith we needed went beyond our human capabilities because our world was about to be turned upside down. It was the most painful time of our life: On Christmas Eve 2015, we found out our 4 year-old-son had a brain tumor and needed surgery within a matter of days. Telling the news to our family was horrendous as we had lost our 7-year-old cousin a few years earlier to brain cancer. Everybody was in shock. We all imagined the worst even though the doctors reassured us Joshua did not have cancer. Clement’s parents flew from France right away to help us so we would not have to go through this alone. They were so encouraging, and their presence brought us great comfort… 

We were devastated inside. My heart was broken in a thousand pieces and our relationship as “husband and wife” became very challenging because our life had to be on hold for a few months. We were trying to keep our head above water and survive, but in faith, we trusted that everything was going to be okay. We knew God had His plans, even if we did not understand them. God accompanied us; He was there every step of the way and gave us His heavenly peace.

Joshua ended up having a complex brain surgery and when he came back, the whole right side of his body was paralyzed. His head and face were so swollen that he could not open his eyes. He was in a lot of pain, and he was screaming all the time; the medical staff had to give him shots of morphine to calm him down. Seeing him like this was heartbreaking, and we felt so helpless. We did everything we could to make him comfortable, but whatever we did was never enough. What I thought was right, Clement thought was wrong and vice-versa! 

When Joshua finally started to feel better, he had to re-learn how to talk, walk, and use his hand with daily therapy sessions. He did not understand why he was not “normal” anymore. He was very stubborn and refused to do his therapy. He was frustrated all the time and became very angry. As parents, this situation was extremely hard to accept. There was nothing we could do. I have never cried so much in my life! Clement was silent and was hurting as much as I was. So, we cried often and did not talk about our feelings with each other; we were exhausted, and we argued a lot as a result. We barely had time to ourselves, and our marriage relationship came last. Joshua was our priority and we had to take care of his 2 year-old-sister too! We had to take turns staying at the hospital with Joshua, going back and forth from the hospital to our home. We barely saw each other and when we were together, we argued. We were so stressed we did not know how to talk to each other anymore. This was tremendously hard. Even though we were in this together, at times it did not feel like we were together. We were there physically but not emotionally. We were devastated, processing all kinds of feelings alone. Everything was so overwhelming; we really did not see any light at the end of the tunnel. We were trying to survive one day at  time and that was about it. It was just too much, but we did not give up. We held on to The Only One who could save us. 

And we were not alone; we had Clement’s parents who bore this burden with us. My mother-in-law helped me so much emotionally. She prayed for me; she cried with me; she held me in her arms when I could not go on anymore. My father-in-law drove every day to the hospital to stay with me and Joshua when Clement was working. He took care of me. He watched Joshua when I needed a break and he was by his side during therapy sessions… He played a big role in Joshua’s recovery! My parent-in-laws are amazing people! They were a huge blessing in a very dark time of our lives, and we will forever be grateful!

When Joshua came back home, Clement and I went to New York for a weekend. This trip allowed us to take a break and look back at what had just happened to our family. We were able to recharge and reconnect as a couple and become better parents on our return. We realized that caring for  Joshua brought us closer together despite the miscommunications and all the stress we endured. We did everything we could in our imperfections to care for Joshua the best we could. What’s important in our story is the love we had for each other, and the love we poured on our son. Love was what he needed the most; love is what kept us together!

Yes, our family was broken, and we knew it was going to take time to heal from this trauma. Our only hope was to lean on Jesus and trust that He would continue to take care of us. Sharing about this time of our life is still a very fresh and painful memory. We still can’t talk about it with each other just yet, but we know it made us stronger. We learned that God is the one in charge of our lives. That we need to surrender to Him because we can’t control everything. We learned to trust Him completely and we chose to believe in His goodness and faithfulness. He gave us peace and grace. He sent help and support from all over the world. He never forsook us. He protected our son and, He covered our marriage with His wings… Without God, our lives would be so different today! 

Joshua recovered very well, and he is doing just fine! He still needs help, but he is alive and well! We also have two beautiful daughters who bring us joy every day. Seeing our family from where it was then to where it is now, we can clearly see God’s work! We went through so much out of obedience and faith. We chose to trust God, and He was with us every time we felt we were falling. He took our hand and showed us the way. We never felt He was not listening nor answering our prayers, He showed us He was still there in the midst of the chaos. We realized that we cannot do anything by our own strength. We learned to surrender and trust Him no matter the circumstances. We allowed Him to work for us, in us, and through us. It is in tough moments like these that we truly understand the meaning of unconditional love and the value of marriage. We did not give up on each other; we survive together! We love each other so much, and I am so grateful because together and with God, we can accomplish and overcome so much! We feel truly blessed.