The Goal Of Marriage Is Not Marriage


Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it.

–1 Corinthians 9:24

Because divorce runs so rampant even in the church, it makes sense that we tend to overcompensate by emphasizing marriage more than Scripture does. But by doing so, we may be hurting marriages rather than helping them.

Couples can all too easily become self-centered, rather than mission-focused. Singles who once radically served Jesus may now spend their days merely improving and enjoying their marriage. Other couples may quarrel incessantly and spend their days in counseling and despair. Either way, they become virtually worthless for kingdom purposes.

It doesn’t have to be this way. This is why Paul wrote 1 Corinthians 7: “I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord” (1 Cor. 7:35).

The goal is “undivided devotion to the Lord.” Meditate on those words. Remember that the Bible is not a book about marriage; it is a book about God. The best thing we can do with our brief lives is to devote ourselves to him and his mission. This is the goal. And marriage can actually help us achieve this goal. That’s why Paul encourages marriage for those who are tempted sexually. A healthy marriage helps to prevent temptations that would destroy our effectiveness. But remember that whether married or single, the goal is to be completely devoted to God. Marriage can be used as a means of improving our devotion to Jesus. Let’s not get it backwards and think of him as the means of improving our marriages.

We don’t have time to fight, nor to settle down. We are in pursuit of a prize (1 Cor. 9:24–27). We are trying to make as many disciples as possible (Matt. 28:18–20), at as much depth as possible. There will be plenty of time to celebrate after we cross the finish line. For now, we just keep running.